


울고 싶지 않아 (Don't Wanna Cry)

by MissLulapricot



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Disappearance, M/M, Songfic, suspensemaybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLulapricot/pseuds/MissLulapricot
Summary: HE just disappear without a word. He don't understand.





	울고 싶지 않아 (Don't Wanna Cry)

**Author's Note:**

> My first fiction in english, hope you gonna like it !

**I don‘t want to cry**  
At least he try to not cry. His heart is such a pain right now. HE is no were to see. The women who accompany him, to prove that her words were true look at him with pity. He grits one's teeth and look away. Where did HE go? His other half, his everything. Why isn't he here? Why don't HE answer his call? Where did HE disappear?  
 **I don’t want to cry**  
HE feels like crying too. HE know HE can't do it another way, even if they're hurt now, in the end, it's for the best. HE try to not look back when the car quit the town.  
Because I love you, because saying I love you   
HE's going away for both of them. To protect the other for more pain, because HE loves him so much.  
He goes out the room, trying to stay calm, to not be a mess in public. To keep a little of his pride. He run to his car and drive back at home. At their home, where they lived for three years now. When he finally reaches the place he just lies on his... Them bed and sniffle, the bed sheet still smell a like HIM.  
 **Isn’t enough, no matter what word I say**  
HE tried to write a letter to the other, but nothing seem to be enough to explain HIS choice to leave. When the plane in which HE's going finally fly off, HE close HIS eyes, hoping that the other will forgive HIM when HE'll comeback.  
 **Leaving me, who cherished only you**  
He don't understand. He feels so lost, he can't help but stay in this bed, lying, smelling HIS pillow. When his best friend pass by and find him in such a state, he don't understand either, but he try to put back a smile on his face.  
When his friends are with him, he just try to look fine. But the only question that remain in his head is :  
 **Where did you go**

**Did you go far away**  
And why?   
**Because you didn’t like me anymore**  
He can't see another reason. Why would HE live him otherwise? And this though hurt so bad.   
He'd like to find HIM back, he'd like to be angry, to shout at HIM :  
 **Don’t play around, I know you’re there !**  
But HE's not.   
In the night, he wake up, not completely awake, he search HIM, and when nobody answer, he can't help but whispers :  
 **I feel like you’ll appear, so I wait aimlessly**  
After a week, he can't help it, he need to find HIM. He doesn't know what's going on, why HE disappear, but his only though is :  
 **I need to go find you, go find you**

**If I cry now, I might not be able to see you so**  
HE close HIS eyes when HE lies down on HIS bed. HE try to not cry when the woman pat HIS hairs, telling HIM that everything is going to be okay. HE feels movement around HIM but HE don't move and pry for the best. After all of this, HE will find back HIS family, HIS friend and HIS love, mostly HIS love. In the nightstand, a letter is ready to be send. But HE really hope it will never be send. HE want to see him again. HE want to see him so much. 

**I don‘t want to cry**  
HE's gonna be okay.  
 **I don‘t want to cry**  
HE gonna find back HIS love when HIS problem will be solve.   
**Although I have a lot of tears**  
He focus on his research, even if he want to cry out his heartache.  
 **I don’t want to cry**  
He remain stable and continue to dig in everything that could lead him to his Love. It's his only goal, even if Joshua don't understand why He want so much to find HIM back.

**This road that doesn’t seem unfamiliar, feels unfamiliar**  
But as he find clue, thing tend to be clearer and clearer and in the same time, so worrying. Could his boyfriend be sick? How didn't he find out sooner  
 **Asking me once again if this is a road I know of**  
? It's a sickness he didn't know, so there was no way for him to guess, but, he feels like he could have fond this out a lot sooner.  
 **Could that person**  
When HIS best friend calls Him, HE's surprise, because SoonYoung promise that He won't call HIM except for important things, like his family or his boyfriend.   
**Be looking for me**  
"I just spoke with him, he's really worried you know. He found out you were sick."  
HIS heart goes on between happiness and sadness.  
 **I’m looking for you right now**  
SeungCheol clench his fist and breath. He will find HIM.  
 **Don’t play around, I know you’re there**  
He just have to follow the traces HE let behind HIM.  
 **I feel like you’ll appear. so I wait aimlessly**  
Now that HE know that SeungCheol know, HE can't help but wait. It's not like HE could wlak or something right now. So HE lies on HIS bed, waiting that he come finally.  
 **I need to go find you, go find you**  
He really could do it, he know it when the last doctor his Boyfriend see tell him where HE   
**Tears are building up and start to blur (my vision)**  
He can't help but falling and cry right there. That was why.

**I don‘t want to cry**  
He don't want to cry now. Just after the meeting, he call best friend, asking Joshua to accompany him. He don't know a word of English and he need to go to the States the sooner.  
 **I don’t want to cry**  
He don't understand when Joshua say no, either when SoonYoung ask him to stay.   
**Although I have a lot of tears**  
Why are they trying to keep him in Korea when he just want to find back his Boyfriend?  
 **I don’t want to cry**  
He'd like to not care about what they say, but he stay. He decide to work harder, not far from being a workaholic, to forget that he doesn't know how HE is going. 

**I’m okay (I’m not okay)**  
He want to be by HIS side so bad. He want to take care of him so much. It's another pain to know that all their friends knew and not him.   
**I don‘t want to see you (I really want to see you)**  
The wait for HIS healing is so long that HE ask HIMSELF if HE really can't go back now. HE said that HE didn't want to see SeungCheol, but he is the one HE miss the most.  
 **I have to say, say**  
HE wonders if HE really made the good choice.   
**These lies that**  
He feel so weak now, SeungCheol could surely protect him.  
 **Don’t even come from my heart**  
HE don't remember why HE though it was a good idea to hide HIS pain.  
 **Because my heart won‘t listen to these words as I thought**  
Even if SeungCheol know HE will comeback, his heart stay painful and he can't help but find himself looking for HIM where ever he goes.  
 **Come back, come back, come back**  
Scream his mind.

**When half of me is gone**  
 **How can I live as one**  
He wonder every morning when he wake up with a tiny hope that HE will suddenly appear today.

**(I don‘t want to cry)**

**I don‘t want to cry**  
When JoShua tell him there going out this night, he don't want to think about the last date they had together such a long time ago.   
**I don‘t want to cry**  
HE can't help but being ecstatic in the plane, while HE is only one hour away from HIS boyfriend.  
 **Although I have a lot of tears**  
All the worries, the pain, seems to fly away when they arrived at the airport. He look at SoonYoung who waited for them in disbelieved before hope make him smile like a crazy one.  
 **I don’t want to cry**  
When HE reach the exit of the plane and almost run to take his suitcase.  
 **I don‘t want to cry**  
While his heart race when he perceives a little guy on the other side of the window.  
 **I don’t want to cry**

**When we see each other again**  
JiHoon run in his arm, tears in his eyes. He lost his suitcase in the process. Nothing matter now for them except the other. None of them had guess that spending two months away from each other would be that difficult.   
**I don’t want to cry**  
With care, SeungCheol caress the face of his love. He restraint himself to hug HIM too much, afraid to hurt HIM. After a long time fixing each other face to remind every feature of the other, JiHoon tiptoes to kiss lightly HIS boyfriend. The tender of the kiss stay around three second until SeungCheol start to devour the other with passion, completely forgetting that they are in public. When JoShua rash his throat as reminding, both let go the other.

_They won't cry for now, they are together._


End file.
